When I ask entrepreneurs why they’re building what they’re building, I often hear the same thing:
“I want to give my kids a better life than I had.”
It’s a beautiful sentiment.
But too often, it’s a convenient lie.
Because if you follow the trail of how most founders actually spend their time, you’ll find missed dinners. Forgotten birthdays. Eyes glued to a phone instead of a school play.
A constant, never-ending string of “Just one more call. Just one more deal. Just let me get through this week.”
We make promises. We tell ourselves the pressure is temporary. That once the acquisition closes or the next round is raised, we’ll finally have the space to be present. That our freedom is just on the other side of the exit.
But here’s the hard truth. Most of us aren’t building our businesses for our kids. We’re building them for ourselves.
And that’s okay. But only if we stop pretending otherwise.
Because when we get real with ourselves, we know the answer.
If we were to get real and ask our kids if they’d rather have a bigger inheritance or if they’d rather have their dad home for dinner, how many of them would choose the former?
Because the reality is, wealth can only be experienced in the present. And the only kind of wealth that kids truly value is spending meaningful time with their parents.
And kids are often our greatest reminder that we don’t need money in order to be present and create meaningful memories with them.
Before I got divorced, I spent a lot of time at home. I would have told you I was being a great dad. But if I’m being honest, I was probably 70 percent present. My body was in the room, but my mind was racing through my to-do list and the next big deal.
After the divorce, everything changed. Suddenly, I only had my kids 50% of the time. That realization hit me hard. I was deeply aware of the stat that most parents will spend 95% of the time they ever get with their children before they turn eighteen. Now mine was cut in half.
It devastated me. It scared me. And then, eventually, it woke me up.
Because now, when I’m with my kids, I’m fully there. Instead of being 70% present 100% of the time, I get to be 100% present 50% of the time.
And they feel it. Our bond is stronger. Our conversations are deeper. The time we spend together matters more. Not because it’s longer, but because it’s real.
A few months ago, I asked my kids about their favorite trip of the year. I expected them to name one of the luxurious vacations or epic destinations. And sure enough, number one was Disneyland. No surprise there.
But number two? A simple camping trip we took with a few other dads. No hotels. No pools. No fancy meals. Just a fire pit, a stack of marshmallows and a zip line.
They didn’t care about luxury. They remembered the laughter. The stories. The time.
This is the real wealth our kids crave. Not the number in the bank account. Not the trust fund. They want you. Your presence. Your attention. Your love.
Yet so many of us keep putting that off. We design these elaborate visions of how we’ll finally spend time with our kids after we sell the company. We picture world travel, homeschool curriculums, quality time. But first, we have to reach the finish line.
The problem is, kids don’t wait for your liquidity event. They’re growing up now. They need you now.
I know what it feels like to postpone presence. I also know what it costs. And I’m here to tell you the cost is higher than you think.
After my divorce, I fell into a scarcity spiral. I was terrified that I’d never have enough time with my kids again. That I was losing them. That I had blown it.
But something unexpected happened. That fear forced me to re-evaluate everything. It helped me get radically clear on what mattered.
Today, I build my calendar around my kids. I invest in experiences with them. I don’t always get it right. I still get distracted. I still feel the pull of work. But I come back quicker. I repair faster. I stay humble and honest.
True wealth is multidimensional. And in that model, money is only a battery. It’s a power source.. It exists to serve your values, not override them.
And when I think about what really makes a rich life, it’s moments like those nights around the campfire. It’s the deep belly laughs. The quiet car rides. The unplanned conversations at bedtime. The stuff you can’t manufacture and can’t schedule.
This Father’s Day, I want to offer you an invitation.
If you say you’re building your empire for your kids, but you’re not showing up for them right now, take a breath.
Ask yourself why.
Get radically honest with yourself.
Because no amount of success in business can make up for the look in your child’s eyes when they know you’re not really there.
The most expensive lie we tell ourselves is that we’ll be more present after we make it. The truth is, presence is a habit, not a milestone.
And you don’t have to earn it. You just have to choose it.
Now.
Not after the deal closes. Not after you hit the number. Not when they’re off to college and you suddenly realize what you missed.
Now.
While it still matters.
Your kids don’t need a millionaire. They need a dad.
Happy Father’s Day,
mb
