This was the subject line of a message in my inbox that perfectly captures how we trick ourselves into believing toxic motivation is the path to success.
It started when a member of our community forwarded me an email from a marketing bro, along with her own brief note: “I kind of loved the concept of ‘you’re complacent because you’re comfortable. Be hungrier.'”
The email was from a bro marketing guru who got yelled at by an even bigger guru who allegedly makes $1.5M per month. His core argument? If you’re comfortable, you’re not trying hard enough. If you’re not constantly outperforming younger entrepreneurs, you’re essentially worthless.
The message claims that at $100k a month, you only have “abundance, but not EXCESS.” It suggests that having a nice house, a cool car, being able to take fancy vacations, and saving $20-30k a month somehow makes you mediocre.
Here’s his actual words describing this experience, just so you get a sense of what’s going on here:
“He’s infamous for doing this thing where he singles out people who he deems poor, yells at them for being poor, but simultaneously gives them a motivational speech that makes them want to be richer.
When I say he “yells at poor people”, I don’t mean people making minimum wage working at Walmart.
I mean, people making around $100-200k a month. ESPECIALLY if you’ve been at that income level for more than a year.
[Redacted] himself probably nets around $1.5M a month, if I had to guess. NET. That’s not revenue. That is what he takes home.
A good friend of mine has been making around $100k a month for over 2 years now. His income has stayed about the same.
This guy has an incredible life. He has a great apartment, a cool car, and doesn’t really ever worry about money.
And that’s EXACTLY why he got yelled at.
He’s comfortable.
[Redacted] singled him out and admonished him for being stagnant at a number that only allows you certain types of freedoms.”
This part was what really got me:
“[We are] 24 years old, and there are guys between the ages of 18-20 who are lapping him AND me.
They’re doing bigger numbers, even though he and I both have more business experience, better connections, more skills, etc.
The only reason that my friend and I aren’t beating them is because we’re not as hungry as they are.
And now, we have 20-year-olds who can look us both in the face and tell us that they’re better at business than us.”
The underlying message?
You are not enough.
And it worked. This kid (who admitted he is 24) who is making $100k a month from his business, was shamed into feeling not enough by a bigger bro, who, I’m sure then let him know that he had the secret answer to real success for the low, low price of $100k a year.
I get why that message is attractive on the surface. It seems like a call to action, a wake-up cry that promises to propel you forward. But when I dug into the actual message, what I found was something far more insidious.
Let’s break down the actual psychology here.
This is a masterclass in psychological manipulation. It’s not actually about business. It’s about triggering deep-seated fears of inadequacy.
The message explicitly states that “Revenue is a scoreboard” and that people making more money than you are “technically, better than you. If not as a person, they’re better than you at business.” This is pure psychological poison.
When my client said she “loved the concept,” what she was really resonating with was her own internal narrative of never being enough.
This message spoke directly to her “I’m not enough” story – the deeply ingrained belief that no matter what she achieves, she should be doing more, being more, producing more.
The truth is, building from a place of lack will never create true wealth.
When we’re driven by shame, by a belief that we’re not enough, every milestone feels empty. We become addicts chasing the next hit of validation, never actually experiencing satisfaction.
The only reason to be “hungrier” is if you genuinely believe you can create more value, impact more people, solve more meaningful problems.
Not because some bro marketer tells you you’re lazy for being comfortable.
For people who are truly successful, money is a byproduct of value creation.
There’s nothing in this message about other people, about service, about genuine impact. It’s pure ego-driven noise designed to make you feel small.
Now look, I’m normally a live-and-let-live kind of cat. I don’t often tear down others’ messages.
But in this case, I refuse to stand idly by in a narrative that tells entrepreneurs they are worthless unless they’re constantly grinding, constantly comparing, constantly feeling like they’re not enough.
Your worth is not determined by your revenue.
Your success is not a competition.
Your value is not measured by how many 20-year-olds you can out-earn.
Here’s my sincere hope: I truly hope the lost 24-year-old who wrote the email finds better mentors.
I hope the million-dollar-a-month bro finds what he is looking for so that he can stop yelling at people he perceives as poorer than him.
I have compassion for him, of course. I have a hunch that he might know deep down that the success he so desperately craved didn’t fill the hole he thought it would. And now here he is, shouting to the world how important it is.
We all have our own path. I don’t begrudge him his.
But I also hope that next time you find that a part of you resonates with the “hustle harder, be hungrier, do more” message that’s so prevalent in entrepreneurship, that you take a step back.
Ask which part of you really resonates with that message. Is it coming from old wounding? The part of you that never feels enough?
And if so, know this:
You are not your achievements.
You are worthy of love, no matter what you do or have done.
And once you start to build from that place, the sky is the limit.
But watch out.
You might just be comfortable with $100k/month.
To building from light,
mb
