This morning, I sat on my patio, morning coffee in hand, watching the sunrise illuminate the red rock formations surrounding my property. As has happened so often since moving in, a sense of profound gratitude washed over me—not just for the view but for the intentional energy of creation that accompanies the aesthetics.
Where we live is perhaps the most powerful and underutilized lever for creating a rich life.
Yet it’s also the lever we’re most reluctant to pull.
We spend an average of 70% of our lives in our homes. The environment we choose to inhabit shapes our daily experiences, influences our mood, impacts our relationships, and either energizes or depletes us. It’s the backdrop against which our entire life unfolds.
So why do so many of us settle for living in places that don’t truly light us up?
When I ask people at my retreats a simple question—”If you could live anywhere, where would it be?”—the resistance is immediate:
“I can’t move because I have to care for my aging parents.”
“My kids have friends here, and I don’t want to uproot them.”
“My business is based here, so I have to be here.”
“The cost of living in my dream location is too expensive.”
Now, let me be clear: these concerns aren’t imaginary.
They’re real considerations with real implications. But when we frame these as immovable obstacles rather than conscious trade-offs, we give away our power of choice.
We’re not choosing to stay where we are because it aligns with our values—we’re staying because we believe we have no choice.
This subtle but critical difference is the dividing line between living by design and living by default.
For two years, my wife and I poured ourselves into creating our dream home. I spent upwards of 20 hours a week overseeing every detail, essentially making it a part-time job.
Even describing this process to people, you can feel the resistance.
“You’ll end up getting a divorce, taking on a project like that.”
“Dealing with contractors is a nightmare, I don’t know how you do it.”
The list goes on. People love to tell you what a terrible decision it is to build a custom home.
And it was one of the best experiences of my life. The sense of pride that I feel in knowing the painstaking care that went into every detail is indescribable. Our house is routinely described by friends who come to visit as the “coolest house they’ve ever been in.”
Our home has become so much more than a place to live and work. It’s a gathering place where we host monthly founder dinners. It’s where entrepreneurs and visionaries from around the world come to connect. It’s where I hold my transformative retreats. The energy of the space itself has become a catalyst for growth, both for us and for everyone who enters.
Was it the most financially lucrative investment of my career? Not even close (though it’s done well). But in terms of return on happiness, nothing else comes close.
I wake up every morning in a space that reflects my values, fuels my creativity, and supports my purpose. That feeling—that daily alignment—is worth more than any amount in my bank account.
Now, it may be easy to dismiss this message. After all, hearing from a post-exit founder in a multimillion-dollar house could be easy to label as out of touch or elitist.
But make no mistake: this principle applies regardless of your budget.
When I was a young Naval officer, I lived in a tiny two-bedroom condo in Point Loma near Sunset Cliffs in San Diego. It cost $410,000 (which felt astronomical to me at the time). That little townhouse brought me just as much joy as my current home, simply because it gave me access to the beach, the community, and the environment that made me feel alive. I would ride my beach cruiser down to the cliffs and surf every day after work. On Sunday mornings I would run 13 miles to the Cabrillo National monument and back, breathing in the views of ocean on both sides. And even though it was modest in size, we made it our own. We decorated our back patio with plants and Christmas lights and old surfboards. We made a little oasis and spent hours laughing with our friends back there.
The question isn’t “How much can you spend?” but rather “Have you designed your environment intentionally to support the life you want to live?”
Here’s what’s fascinating: you don’t have to pack up and move tomorrow for this insight to transform your life.
The simple act of acknowledging that you’re living somewhere out of perceived obligation rather than choice is immensely powerful. It puts you back in the driver’s seat of your own life.
Maybe after reflection, you realize that staying near aging parents truly aligns with your core values of family and service. That’s beautiful—but now it’s a conscious choice rather than an invisible constraint.
Or perhaps you decide that the trade-offs are worth it for now, but you’ll begin planning a transition to your dream location in the next few years. That’s equally valid—and the mere presence of a plan can infuse your current situation with new energy.
The key is moving from unconscious acceptance to conscious choice.
This week, I invite you to consider a simple but potentially life-changing question:
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Don’t censor yourself. Don’t immediately jump to why it’s impossible. Just allow yourself to truly envision the environment that would make you feel most alive.
Then ask yourself: What stories am I telling myself about why I can’t live there? Which of these are legitimate considerations, and which are excuses rooted in fear? What would one small step toward my ideal environment look like?
You don’t have to make dramatic changes overnight. But becoming aware of whether your current environment genuinely serves you is the first step toward creating a truly rich life—one where your surroundings amplify your purpose rather than drain your energy.
The greatest wealth isn’t measured in dollars—it’s measured in alignment. And few things impact our daily alignment more profoundly than where we choose to wake up each morning.
To designing a life you love,
Mb
